As Matt Reeves said:

"I see it as a character who is trying to find a way to make sense out of a world that is inherently making no sense... He is driven by a kind of psychological dysfunction or obsession. He's a very broken human being who is choosing to use that brokenness to find a way to endure and to find a way to create meaning out of a world that took everything from him."

I am like him, too...
Aren't you?